Tag Archives: relationship counselling sydney

What is Narcissism?

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Have you ever got the sense that your partner thinks he or she is generally superior to you, or more entitled to things than you are? Does he or she find a host of ways to devalue you or ignore you? Does he or he try to control you? If so, you may be living with a Narcissist.

Narcissism is considered a spectrum Disorder, which means that there are degrees of manifestation of the characteristics, so a person could have a couple of Narcissistic traits, right through to many or all, which means they would be closer to a Narcissistic Personality Disorder, as defined in the DSMIV.

Generally speaking, Narcissism is a condition of an Inflated False Self, which gives him or her a strong sense of self importance and a grandiose image of himself. He enters into relationships entirely for the purpose of keeping his grandiosity reinforced, as a source of Narcissistic supply for himself. He will idealise those who mirror this for him and devalue anyone as soon as they don’t. There is a real lack of genuine empathy for, or real interest in others, and a massive denial of his own problems, weaknesses, and vulnerabilities.
How did you become a willing victim? Why you?

If you find yourself in a relationship with a Narcissist, at some stage you might wonder why you? What does this say about you, your tolerance for pain and your sanity?
It is true that there is a particular kind of person that finds themself with a Narcissist, at least often well beyond the first indication that there is an underlying nastiness in him.

The type of individual who seems to unwittingly attract a Narcissist is someone who has Borderline characteristics, (which has also been referred to as Co-dependent or compliant) and has a deflated false self.

In Transactional Analysis terms, a Narcissist’s underlying Life position is I’m Ok, You’re Not OK, whereas a Borderline’s underlying Life Position is I’m Not OK, You’re OK.

Interestingly, a Borderline’s profile is less defended that the Narcissist, and less destructive to others, and therefore closer to achieving a healthy relationship, if you can gain true insight into what is happening and what is going wrong in your relationships and be able to develop a stronger identity and boundaries.
Can our relationship be helped?

If both you and your partner are committed to make your relationship a healthy and happy one, then I believe this is worth working on.

Finding a Psychologist who is familiar and experienced with these conditions is important as Narcissism can be notoriously difficult to pick up in a few sessions if the Psychologist is not trained in this. (Education on Narcissism is taught in Psychology courses but does not fully explain the widespread occurrence of this condition, and also the full ramifications of this, particularly to the partner. We at the Hart Centre are committed to ongoing training in these areas and in supporting you in managing yourself and your relationships.)

The success of relationship counselling and marriage counselling depends on many factors, but is largely due to the commitment of both partners to see their patterns and contributions, and be willing to change.

You will often not know how willing you and your partner are to do this until you attempt to do so. You will be able to see for yourselves over 3 to 6 sessions what real effort each of you are putting in to see the problems, own your contributions and make changes.

We can also support you if you have decided to leave your Narcissistic partner, and want help and assistance in rebuilding your life.

The Hart Centre has 54 centres for relationship and marriage counselling around Australia, so you will most probably find one close to you. You will find our Sydney relationship counselling centres in 15 different locations in Sydney, both in the CBD and suburbs. In Adelaide we have relationship and marriage counselling centres in 5 locations across Adelaide. Phone 1300830552 to speak to our friendly receptionists.

For relationship counselling Sydney and marriage counselling Sydney contact the Hart Center. The Hart Center can also help with marriage counselling Adelaide.

How does Relationship Therapy Work?

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Does relationship counselling work? How about individual therapy for anxiety and depression. Associated Counsellors & Psychologists Sydney, a leading service provider, answers your questions about counselling therapy.

A common question asked by our clients is: ”Does counselling really work?” Like our clients, you could be looking for help with a relationship, with anxiety or stress, or perhaps low mood or depression. Whatever the reasons causing concern, the good news is that clinical counselling is proven to help those with complaints like anxiety and depression. Moreover, counselling for marriage or couple issues is a validated therapy for assisting couples to improve their relationship.

Counselling: How does it work?
There are a number of types of modalities which counsellors are able to use to help you. The chosen mode will depend on a counsellors training and their judgement of your issue. Some of the best validated treatments for anxiety and depression include cognitive behavioural therapy. This treatment works by thinking in depth about behaviours and thoughts that currently increase your level of anxiety or depression, and help you to overcome this patterned reaction. For example, people who experience anxiety may tell themselves things like: ”I will never make it”, or ”I will be terribly embarrassed if people see how nervous I am”. Such thoughts are identified together with your therapist, and new, more accurate self-representations are then used to challenge these beliefs. With continued practice and perhaps some skills training such as relaxation, very good results are experienced by most people.

Can relationship counselling really help my marriage?
Relationships are fluid -they go through phases, from the initial honeymoon stage to the many stages of maturing of the relationships. For most couples, as a relationship matures, so do personal demands and responsibility, whether it’s in the form of increased work pressure or children coming along, etc. As these pressures increase, the partners in a relationship may no longer be able to accommodate each other’s emotional needs, and conflict may develop – perhaps into frequent and recurring arguments. Relationship counselling enables each person to learn to soothe their own distress, whilst also learning to identify and name the underlying needs that are going unmet. Partners begin to negotiate what they can do for each other and which demands may need to go unmet. A new, more realistic life plan is recognised and can be worked with.

What issues can therapists help with?
Therapists and psychologists are trained to assist you through a broad range of issues including anxiety or stress, depression or sadness, couple and marriage issues, grief and bereavement, addictions, anger management, eating disorders and many other complaints of modern living.

How should I choose a counsellor or psychologist?
Get in touch with a registered counsellor or psychologist for a start to a better life. Licenced mental health professionals are able to work with you to overcome emotional challenges. Whatever country you are in you can seek assistance from the professional body that registers counsellors or psychologists in your state. In Australia, Associated Counsellors & Psychologists Sydney can connect you with a registered therapist near you.

Associated Counsellors & Psychologists Sydney – counselling services including, cognitive behavior therapy, general counselling, psychology and relationship counselling Sydney. Call (02)8205 0566 or visit 418/185 Elizabeth Street, Sydney 2000.

Taking your relationship for granted? Perhaps relationship counselling can help

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Remember the days when you first met your wife or husband? Those wonderful romantic sexy days when you loved being in each other’s presence and could speak for hours. You would do those special things for each other just to see the look of delight on his/her face. They were the days when your relationship was rich and vibrant and you felt fully alive because of it.

Now the “Limerance” stage is long gone, as it always does. But have you replaced it with an even better version of a deeper fuller love? Or have you been taking your loved one for granted and busying yourself with other “more urgent things, like jobs and kids and work around the home, and finances and friends?

One of the most common themes I find in my private practice as a Psychologist specialising in relationships is a “natural neglect” in secure relationships.

Even though everything in your shared life is based on a foundation of your love for each other, and your shared life, it’s all too easy to take for granted that your relationship will always be there, without realising that it, too, needs maintenance and nurturing.

Perhaps you could check in with your partner and ask him/her how happy he or she is in your relationship, on a scale of 1 to 10. Then follow it with the more important question of “What would have to happen to make it a 10 for you?”

Keeping your relationship alive and vibrant needs ongoing attention, but not only does it make for a more enjoyable life, but is one of the most enduring aspects of a life well lived.

In the closing years of one’s life, thoughts more often than not turn to how well did I love and be loved, rather than how much money will I die with.

If you’ve let your relationship decline, a relationship counsellor can show you, in a few sessions, how to reignite the fun, chemistry and love again.

At the Hart Centre Sydney, we have trained and experienced marriage and relationship counselling Psychologists in 15 locations across Sydney, so there is almost certainly one near you. In the city centre we have two Sydney CBD locations and also Bond, Crow’s Nest, Mosman and many more in outer suburbs. Please call our friendly receptionists on 1300 830 552.

For relationship counselling Sydney, contact the Hart Centre. Many marriages have been saved through relationship counselling. Sydney has many qualified relationship counsellors.

Are you considering relationship counselling?

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If you feel you have difficulties or problems in your relationship, here is a quick questionnaire for you which will help you to focus on the major areas of a relationship that must be strong to ensure happiness for you as a couple.

Consideration of these areas will show you if you would benefit from marriage or relationship help.

HART RELATIONSHIP QUALITY QUESTIONNAIRE:

CARING
How much affection do you show towards your partner?

How much caring and affection does your partner give to you?

How much do you give to and nurture one another:

With you giving?

With you receiving?

COMMUNICATION
How well do you:

Talk about and plan practical arrangements?

Talk about how you feel?

Feel able to bring up issues of the relationship, and resolve them?

Share about your dreams and aspirations?

Let you partner know how much you appreciate him/her?

What do you believe your partner does/says or doesn’t do which prevents you openly communicating?

Can you remark on what it is that you do or say or don’t do that stalls clear communication?

Are you aware of times you may jump to conclusions or interpretations about things your partner says?

FUN AND ROMANCE
How much do you think of doing fun and playful things together?

What do each of you do to keep romance alight?

SEX
Is there passion in your relationship?

How happy are you with your sex life?

INDIVIDUAL NEEDS
How much do you enjoy your own breathing space and individuality?

To what level can you accept your partner’s need for time alone?

To what degree can you take care of your own needs and wants?

EQUALITY AND RESPECT
Do you, as a couple practically share responsibilities?

Are you about equal regarding performing the “liked” and “not liked” roles and responsibilities?

POLARISATION
Are there any traits your partner has that annoys you?

DIFFERENTIATION
Are there issues in your relationship where you give in without wanting to, or your partner ends up controlling you in?

Are there areas where you may control your partner?

If you find that more than a couple of the above questions have raised problems regarding your relationship, then relationship counselling will most certainly help you examine these and get your relationship or marriage back on track.

For marriage and relationship counselling specialists in Sydney, Adelaide and Melbourne, call the Hart Centre. We are a committed team of Psychologists specializing in relationship and marriage counselling with 15 locations in Sydney, 12 locations in Melbourne and 2 in Adelaide.

Visit relationship counselling sydney, relationship counselling adelaide or marriage counselling melbourne. Hartrelationshipcounselling30aug